My family. More specifically, the health of my family.
This is my mom right before her double mastectomy in March:

and this is the next time we saw her:

There isn’t really anything that can prepare you to see someone you love hooked up to a ventilator. It’s often shown on tv as being quiet and peaceful- it’s anything but. It’s loud, and almost violent in the forcefulness of the air being pushed in and out. Life suddenly appears very, very fragile.
That surgery would be the first of a series of complications that proved to baffle specialist after specialist. The next few months were trips to the emergency room, more surgeries, more hospital stays, admission into long term care facilities, and, more surgeries. All the while, things just kept getting worse, but no one knew why, or what to do to make it better.
Visiting after running Race for the Cure on Mother’s Day. Here she is in a long term care facility, and on a PCA (patient controlled analgesia) pump for pain. The amount of pain meds she’s on makes her drowsy, and she fell asleep while waiting for us. This is what I saw when I walked in, she was laying there asleep, wearing a pink ‘Race for the Cure’ hat in support:
She was able to come home a few weeks after that, and for the first time in several months, things seemed to be improving. She had to have home health care nurses come in to help with wound care, but just being able to be home seemed to be a huge step in the right direction.
She had another surgery at the end of June, which seemed to go well. Then two days after she came home from that surgery, she was transported by ambulance to the emergency room:

After doing a CT scan of her brain, the doctor came in and said she had an aneurysm, and two areas of metastases in her brain that were bleeding. So she had brain cancer. That was bleeding.
She was transported to the neurology department of another hospital, where we waited, and watched, as her conditions got worse:

A few minutes after I took this, her speech started to slur, and she lost mobility in her left side. She was given vitamin K and fresh frozen plasma to try to stop the bleeding in her brain, and was sent for more tests to determine whether she would have to go for emergency surgery. They determined the bleeding had stopped, no emergency brain surgery was necessary, and she was stable enough to just be observed overnight.
The next day, the doctors said while she did have an aneurysm, it was stable and wasn’t what had caused any problems. They also didn’t think the bleeding areas were cancer now, although they couldn’t be sure what caused it- possibly cavernous malformations. And the bleeding wasn’t in two areas, there were seven or eight spots that had bled, in three separate areas of her brain. But since the bleeding had stopped, she could go home that afternoon. (After repeatedly voicing our concern, she was allowed to stay that night and was discharged the next morning).
The first two weeks or so after she was home were pretty ok, she still had some left side weakness and a little residual confusion, but pretty slight, all things considered. Then, it got worse: slurring speech, short term memory loss, confusion…symptoms of dementia or Alzheimer’s. She couldn’t cook when she was home alone because she would turn the stove on and forget it was on. She couldn’t drive anymore. She couldn’t remember how to turn on a computer or send a text message. It was, quite simply, terrifying to witness.
Do whatever you want to me, and I’ll deal with it, but when it comes to something being wrong with someone I love, I’m a mess. There is nothing worse than that feeling of helplessness- when there is nothing you can do, no way of knowing if it will get better or worse, and no explanation for why it happened.
The next few months were more appointments, tests, specialists, and more scratching of heads. No one could say whether this was permanent or if it would improve. And they still didn’t know what caused it in the first place- now they didn’t think it was cavernous malformations, so it was possibly just a spontaneous, multi-focal, catastrophic hemorrhage, or, it might still be cancer.
Slowly, her symptoms start showing improvement, just in time to find out she needs to have her thyroid removed. Since the spring, there has been a large area of rapid growth on the right side, and while the left side was originally fine, there are now three small nodules on the left. The rapid growth makes it suspicious for cancer, but there is no way of knowing until it has been removed. So at the end of October, she had her thyroid removed.
And a few weeks ago we got the pathology results back, and it was benign (not cancerous).
So last night, when she was sitting next to me on the couch, and we were both laughing so hard we were crying, it was a perfectly blissful moment, and it was like the last six months never happened.
There were several times there where I didn’t think this story was going to have a happy ending. And while there are still unanswered questions, and tests to be had, and specialists to see, I am hopeful that the worst is behind us.
So today, I am thankful for my family. And for their health. And for the way we rally together when it feels like the sky is falling. (Which happens a lot more than I prefer.)
My sister, myself, and my mom. Thanksgiving 2010.

I hope all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving, as well.